Women derailment

 1).
Yan just over thirty, with most of the women in this age of trouble and busy.
Yan, the son of two lively and naughty, big high school, and a small still in primary schools. Yin's husband is a leading Silicon Valley semiconductor company engineer, Yan himself in a few years ago got laid off when the economic downturn after the exam, a real estate broker's license, a loan company is now doing loans to brokers. Martin was laid off Time is indeed frustrated, but mostly because of self-worth hit, did not affect their quality of life at home. because of the work of her husband Yan getting better and better jobs and wages are rising, people are also often work overtime to the middle of the night, sometimes late at night two or three, the company product line is a problem, a phone, men called away. Yan looked at a man on the monthly payroll figures and the head of white hair, like the increasing number of complaints would also to abruptly Tunhui in the stomach.
Yan trouble not say, how should I say: can not say two words every day with her husband, a man working to support the family Yes; to see someone go to a couple in pairs movie or something, Yan special admiration for.
see a gynecologist once a year, the doctor asked Martin: br> Doctors love to command: very busy day. In the morning, and Yan to get two children to get up to eat breakfast, send them to school, then go to loan companies deal with some things in the afternoon, pick up their kids from school, the first to send them to learn the piano, learning judo; take home , and then home to prepare dinner while doing homework while watching them. usually about nine at night, the two children went to bed, this time to sit down and swallow a cup of tea, turn on the computer on the Internet, look at the news or gossip. until the garage door ring, the man came back, and Yan helped heat of a hot meal, and other men eat, shower, the couple went to bed, that day has long passed. the day is just, live, has been Yan did not feel anything particularly bad.
Yan four-year-old birthday that day, although her husband did not get any gifts, but it is a rare early work, like family restaurants to the outside Chile Dun dinner. Yan did not feel anything special.'d next day, a few good sisters similar to Yanqing Sheng, noon, sitting in the teahouse, a married friend of the Americans asked: shook his head, friends, indignant: opened a beauty shop, facing Yan face looks around, said: > Good oldest sister who Lao Dajie, is earnestly told Yan: lost. , suddenly, the Yan family felt particularly quiet, lonely as Yan's heart took a sudden flood inundated. computer's celebrity gossip news, can not afford to swallow hook is also of interest, according to her boredom in the mouse, accidentally Press into a chat room, she was about to exit, a man with a baseball cap with flashing signal head jumping into her eyes: Miss was called, it was great, Bai Yan want to talk to talk: ;
unconsciously, two or three hours passed, Yan has been so long in the end can not remember what talk, I only remember a few times to see each other outside Yan Yingwen in grammar and words, and asked her Which country. Yan hesitated to tell him that he is still Chinese, did not expect him to come back immediately: br> He replied: just heard the garage door ring, and quickly right off the assembly line, lay a hastily: ; you let me spend a good night, tonight I will dream of a pleasant Oriental woman. But off the computer, Yan still feel a little coursing, can not say why, at night against her husband's eyes, Yan, to be avoided.
2).
attached a few nights, Yandu not open the computer, vaguely that will meet the man wearing a baseball cap, faint to think it will be some things that should not have happened. She borrowed from a friend of a pestle disc, looks a little to see her long television drama. That day, looking at attractive men and women love the drama of the gloomy and dark, college classmate called friends, friends to meet and play in New York on a business trip, the U.S. package for the entire stay, friends to call in a hotel happy to renew old friendships , students talk about the current situation, she spoke to said that the Yan college sweetheart, friends told Martin that he had just divorced, met again on the road, and asked friends to swallow the phone number, friends wanted to inform, to think is wrong, remember to push that. Q. Yan want to contact him again, Yan said no need. Yan mind emerges out of a long absence, the young face of the sun, remember that big tall boy, Yan Zeng and he had a campus of an innocent love, and now want to recall is like someone else to do. Seventeen-year-old boys and girls love, like that shown in Korean, so it seems unreal ideal , although very pure beautiful, but now in a four-year-old woman's eyes, can not help but have a feeling the experience of life make life difficult for the water. then good, like a red maple leaf was sandwiched into the book, only to occasionally take fills out a look back.
call is finished, no longer thought to see series swallow, and unexpected happenings in and turn on the computer, strolled to the Internet, then stroll into the chat room. only one went to see a flashing signal: The sent me: moved by the beauty of Oriental women, he also taught me to read Chinese, do not believe, you can quiz me to see the extent of my Chinese ah! heart Chinese American accent, but he can read Chinese, and with the help of a dictionary, to understand a pretty close. He mentioned Confucius, also referred to his childhood his father taught him the Three Character Classic. swallow up the curiosity , an American school he'd like to see to what extent the Chinese really think of a song Shu Ting Chuan poem:
Maybe Maybe our thoughts are always
reader may not have been the wrong way the result was wrong start < br> Maybe we lit the lantern one another may be strong winds blew one of life candles burn around other people without heating the fire
might shed tears of more fertile land may also be sun sun we sing singing
Perhaps the more heavy shoulders towering faith may be more cries for all the suffering of the unfortunate individuals had to silence
perhaps because of the irresistible call we have no other choice
he asked: I want to look up words. worries will go unknown
Perhaps my journey begin on the wrong road
and still continues in the wrong direction
Perhaps the lantern we raise is extinguished by the wind
Perhaps our light shine on another
Perhaps our tears flow to the ground make it more fertile
Perhaps we will sing to the sun
Perhaps the sun will sing to us
Perhaps the burden on our shoulders will increase
As our faith cries out against misery and bitterness are silent
Perhaps we have no other choice Growth in the earth with a side of the Americans over there in China about the earth poems?
that night, they had a long chat on the Internet, talked about Martin's hometown, about his father had been involved in over the old China .. .... to figure out his big swallow about three seventeen and eighteen, as he mentioned his father had been in fifty years ago to teach English in China, Red China to the United States when established married; he had five brothers, He is the youngest, his brother than he is eighteen. He did not ask Martin family's private issues such as marriage, so Martin thinks they are a br> Yan's husband back in the ring for the occasion of the garage door, Yan said to him: The pass came on: Speaking of foreign poetry Chinese poetry, history comes from the Chinese American history, the topic one by one. Yan never expect to talk with an American man have so many broad topics. He was not only like literature, like painting and sculpture, from the literary Michelangelo Renaissance to modern Picasso, regaling say he can, he also knows China's Qi and Chang. Yan feel like going back to the teenager, looking forward to a day full of heart.
This morning to send the children to school, and Yan were supposed to go to the company to do things and drove right through good friends of the early in the morning just shop, no customers to come, see Martin come in, very happy, took Martin got into the back room on the sofa, readily handed him a cup of warm, freshly ginseng tea. time to come here to ask how Yan, Yan answer the mirror that his eyes have recently crow's feet, always wanted to come back to. Yu Yan closer look a little face, so Martin did a few funny faces expressions, told Martin not a serious problem, wait a minute she'll help Yan doing the care and maintenance.
waiting for the swallow of tea drinking a cup of ginseng, jade call Yan dress by wearing a pink, small room, lying on the pink bed, jade fine slender hands warm Yan the work of a gentle face, first facial cleanser, then a nutrient solution, and then endured a bit of jade to swallow, clear black for her, Yan sting on the nose with tears involuntarily streaming down, wait for Jade her eyebrows like seaweed mask attaining, Yan only relax in the jade massage her shoulders and the occasion of pine, Yan daze actually sleep in the past, pus between the dim, Yan see a band baseball hat man, leaned over to her lips pro, and instantly woke up and saw a show, Jade's face is on front of Akira when, Yu said: maintenance and enjoyment. women do, to be nice to yourself! a shoulder-length straight hair, the wind gently blowing, sky-blue cotton vest with the same color material plus a jacket, a dark blue cotton trousers faint show off her slender legs, feet A pair of blue and white two-tone shoes, and canvas shoulder bag with blue and white color just right Coach. Yan's mind there are some consolation: Four-year-old woman not bad! face came a young girl, a casual tight short shirt, exposing a hole covered under the waistline denim shorts, looking to see Yan's vision, clothing, and after giving birth to those left behind in the fat around the waist, only hidden in loose clothes Caixing. so what, Yan from the beauty salon out of the good mood for someone to be blown away, I do not know how the recent , Yan found that their emotions like a roller coaster of the day to go through a few jagged.
walked, the smell of curry while Yan was attracted to find yourself standing before used to come to this Thai Restaurant, her husband liked the yellow curry and chicken curry Jesus do milk, can not remember to think about how long it did not take dinner with her husband, and to come up with phone call to his phone, he seemed very surprised , actually asked her do you need? Yan like nothing you will not be able to call you, his mouth said: not so much free time, , turn back the body and go home.
That night, I do not know why, Yan took this experience and feelings during the day and their speaking and listening to a man with a baseball cap. there soon reply, he was pleased finally to swallow He open your heart, he had a fixed hour every night from Yan guess the next line of Yan is a married woman. he is, his wife is a night shift nurses, every day is like when they met the evening shift change, they have one-year-old son. He said it started because of boredom and loneliness of the Internet, did not think met Martin, a kind of feeling of Brief Encounter. thought about what the results are not necessarily, also tried to find out with his wife the feeling of love, but his wife's eyes and her work in addition to his son, as if there is any place left him. He fully understands the kind of swallow the feelings of helplessness and neglected. Finally, he told everyone old Yan, As long as the elegant old, surrounded by love that they know their spouse, then the old is an enjoyable thing slowly. He Yan, henceforth to call his name, the br> 4).
Since both Yan and Doug married his own identity that, but with a sense of trust between each other. two people start talking about their respective views of marriage and family and life.
Doug a day pass over his picture, he looks very light, simple look of a smile, her long brown hair, thin and tall body, sitting in front of a computer desk, as if in the Yan said: I just like this! know he was married women with families, the two children she can not put down, but the thought of because of their desires, so that the two children grow up in families losing Qindie to feel psychologically and morally can not afford both. What's more, she worried about whether doing a fantasy dream, wake up after the fear of loss. she just prefer to be alone, even on weekends, her husband proposed to go hiking with two children, she also try to find excuses said to be preparing dinner for his son three out Hiking, himself a man sitting there, left to themselves in their own thoughts in endless.
Wherever the poetic dreamy one to love and be loved in the situation, On the one hand does not fit their established home and family, and Yan in the high and low mood jumping up and down all day, every day she were silent, and I feel it every day impetuous. think Doug over the period of the previous day, then pass , Yan's heart on the ups and downs with. I dream of having someone to love me as much as I love her. I am dreaming of having someone that I could love and care abouth.Are you my soul-mate? share my feelings and hope, I dream every day that we can proceed with disheveled-step hand-kai, chatting, I dream she loves me and I love her as much, I dream of such a person to care about my love .. .... You are my soul mate?) Martin's statement that he also voiced her thoughts and her questions. her mind kept flashing this sentence: soul-mate? Huan, never before, opened the Martin does not own the body of her husband came over, said he does not feel well. husband froze a moment, boring to stand in the past take care of sleep, swallow it in the dark until late at night, eyes wide open ......< br> Yan thinking about all this, my heart full of guilt for her husband, but I do not know how to make up. During the day a little soul does not match the first work in the company, do not want to open the computer, there is a Doug's Yemeir, seeing that he sent over late last night, only a short sentence: , the midday sun to shine in the window wanton, did not swallow the tears out of the window as the morning dew on the Chinese rose, the sun disappeared, but it flows more. and so my emotions calm down a little, suddenly reminded of Yan zhao that the first word, Luo Sang solution, alone on the Lanzhou. cloud Kam who sent the book to? Yanzi back, Yuemanxilou.
Huazipiaoling artesian water. A Acacia, Xianchou. this situation have no choice removed only under the brow, but our hearts.
Doug's return mail:
feel your heart sad and helpless struggle. I really hope that rainy day, and you're in a warm house, looking out the window with the rain fly, listen to the voice of autumn rain. I do not know whether the following sentence I translated words can convey his ideas, after all, is the first time I try to understand an ancient Chinese poetry. But this poem to my heart like rain as the wet, I was so eager at the moment with you, hold you . I should not say so, is it? I still have not seen you! but I cannot help, I think you know me, know me why.
The sweet scent of the red lotus fades < br> The jade grass wilts with arrival of Autumn
I gather up my skirts
And alone alight a small orchid boat
Who will emerge from the clouds with news from my lover.
Will your words be carried by the wild geese.
The moon fills my room with its light
Flowers fall to the flowing stream never return
We are in two different places
But we share the same feelings
Sadness and longing that never goes away
Dwells from brow on our heads to deep within our hearts. rose: Why God so arranged around the partner, feeling yet so far away; fantasy online world, a native American man, left her a kind of Concert's Xinchan.
5).
online dating to this point where the rising heat between the two. Doug naturally and repeatedly requested to see a face Yan, Yan found that he did not so easy to cross the Kaner. Yan addition to not feeling the kind of crimes, although often Imagine that the outbreak in love when they meet a little bit eager to get to their, neurotic, but always have a voice in my heart to tell her this is wrong. dilemma, the Yan sent his photo to Doug, seems to be in to appease him and wanted him to read the picture is not so anxious to meet, but also his own guilt and told him this.
Doug looked at pictures but to see her to tell her more, he An Weiyan them Love does not hurt others intended meaning, if their own marriage is heaven, their respective partners are not lost on them that attention and care, how they will go to a place outside of marriage to find warmth? and today he and Yan But the ones like the arrangement of God, as the Chinese call fate, it seems his life is such a person to wait for the emergence of Martin. swallow it not his way of thinking? comes from their families, especially children guilt, Doug said he would love her child, let the children know more than one person loved them not to mention the children there grow up one day, so they are independent adults, both men left the world of life is , and if maybe has a personal not love at all, it was not so sad? He said earlier that he could work every Wednesday, two hours to drive to the bend from the state capital area, they can meet in a bookstore, but see meet, a cup of coffee, will not do any evil thing to swallow that, he wanted to see her, want their relations to a new level. Of course, this is just his proposal, not at all anxious in a moment, They have time after the rest of your life, Yan can think about, waiting to swallow that he is willing when the time is ripe. Yan promised to consider his proposal.
did not know since when, Yan increasingly found her husband see of it unacceptable and can not figure out how her husband paid into this virtue: a whole in a perpetual money-making tools. In addition to his work, he did not understand literature, do not understand art, then said they do not park, never mind write something to make who moved the article. and he has not only not a common language, but also no fun at all of his life, his later life can not just dead in the past. she did not realize, in fact, become her own, she was the unconscious is simply an excuse their actions. The poor husband was also kept in the dark, often sudden rise in revolt to face his wife, also of unknown status, somehow at a loss.
this day, she was to pick up two son after school, in the car, two children bickering in the back seat do not know why things up, her heart was tired yet, and heard the argument sound, regardless of pro-red and wrong to wrist in the past: , tired of not annoying na! Could you give me some quiet time to do? concerned about her mother: were washed Daoshufangli, heartache help increase was crying ......< br> she can not think of another family is also experiencing a similar disaster.
Doug worked in the capital of California Sacramento Sakya government departments, government agencies seniority, Doug's boss just retired left, Doug terms of agent supervisors for some time, but the government has not let him onboard, and also Zheng Xun talent out to see his job description seems to be doing now what, Doug will be some pressure. So to do harder things, hopes for an early promotion to get the opportunity to work on weekdays, but also add some work this morning and evening classes are quite small, the introduction of attention behavior.
often, Doug and his wife back in the night before seven o'clock, the transfer of all children. wife sent their children to eat breakfast and then go to school. That day, Doug found that younger son has been sleeping less secure at night, early morning actually the small hours of heat to hot head, Doug medicine in addition to his son to drink water, hope is the wife of a nurse to come back early. I did not expect seven over, his wife no figure, down to the phone, said she was a patient back to do not come, Doug ill informed regarding the younger son, his wife casually reply: his wife has hung up the phone. Doug had no choice but to leave home to take care of his son, and my heart's been lit the fire pot. At noon, the wife of the next big night dragging a tired body into the house, touched his son's head , blurted out: Although the children did not describe in details the couple quarreling, Yan fully imagine.
6).
Doug kind of Overloaded tired feeling the pressure of work around the partner is not understanding the life of chores and frequent quarrels between husband and wife is more important psychological pressure, in this case, he cried out to swallow:
I need to see you and know that you are real. This is something that we need to do. Please grant me this favor. It is 2:15 in the morning and I can not sleep. I am sorry to even make this request to you - but I just feel so hopeless this morning. Please, please let me see youh. (I need to see you, know you are real. we'll do that. Please meet my requirements. It is 2:15 am, I still can not sleep. I was so helpless, forgive me for a request like this, please let me see you ......)< br> Yan said that the proposal will be considered to meet Doug, so Doug gave her three days to ponder this weekend. Doug had at the weekend with her two children drove up to the Bay Area just to want to live in the area of Yan and feel struggling for a day gone the next day's night, under the premise of self get out of trouble: it anyway is to see a face that is common friends, at this time, it should be to comfort others. Martin finally agreed to next Wednesday with Doug in a bookstore Starbucks to meet. Yan though it is concerned that this illusion of romance, often Jianguang Si, but it has developed to the point where we can not stay in place, see a face seems to have become the imperative.
Maybe these days intense ideological struggle finally decided to swallow a strained nerves relaxed, in the meet Yemeir pass over, even lying on the desk to sleep in the past. sleep, was pushed wake up sleepy eyes dreamily Yan opened his eyes, quite a while to react, is the face in front of her husband, a wake, quickly turned around to see the computer screen, but fortunately, the computer is black, has been closed. looking back to her husband, her husband's mean face deep: Yan Yu came to the . Yu Yan greeting while changing clothes, while saying: The dancers, ...